The White Hot Whisper

Cocooned too long in false realities,
bile
and subsurface emotion like the skunkworks
   beneath a city street,
wrapped in luxurious denial,
hush, child,
   be a sensible man with sensible thoughts,

and not a wolf
   hungry and wild,

wear human skin
slain
dried
bought secondhand from a faceless merchant
   toiling endlessly at the black factory mercantile,

chase not rabbits
   but dollar bills,
curb your claws,
forget your style,
leave the dark forest behind
   mile by mile,
live the slow death,

bend over on the tile.

TA

The Desert Boys Tonight

The boys were ruddy and gay
hot with fire the coming night
golden lines on their slim razor racing suits
setting sun burning nest
multi-orange twilight twisting in their chromium helmet shields
arcs of dusk explode westernmost canyon crests alit
the boys gypsy calls
their pouting pussy pink lips tasting the stars
razzing me hard

you tell me in terrible sighs don't go out tonight
your moon blue eyes wet
your skin soft
warm despite a lavender chill building

but baby
the killer has me
the night
it soothes me
look how the desert stretches eternal into empty endless distance, you see
into places even love cannot reach
past the red starting line the pendants
fresh breast of green yet aglow
past purring birds in sharp stripes and streamlined feathers
those rumbling engines
sucking in throaty gulps the cool air
burnished leather seats
worn cork sticks
chrome gauge clusters
polished fenders catching in sleek curves a growing body of stars

your hand holds mine too tightly
burst of laughter from the drivers circle

you hear 'em too
the boys want to race, baby

sorry

I gotta race.

TA

Star Pilot

Hey Star Pilot
red laser gun and long legs
aluminum boots and chrome on your hips
unzipped from breastbone to clit

my fingers find that silver patch of hair
slide below
feed me your wet tongue
slow
while the fleet rages in war above
turning to ashes
everything we know.

TA

Starblazer

Artwork by Zoltan
www.zoltanillustration.com

Starblazer
encased in silver shadows of twin suns
faceshield reflections
my own long tongue and french lips
red dust shimmy when you shake your naked hips
take me to your goddesshead
kneel and repent
kneel and take the smooth river water
to atone
wash clean those filthy thoughts
white dove claps and claws into thin air

you spin twisted flesh fast fast
flash of those thin lips
red laser from your hips
spit a thin red poison into the air

zap and the white dove falls back
and cooked

Starblazer I'm in love.

TA

Artwork by Zoltan
www.zoltanillustration.com

My Next Forty

I hunt glory in whatever hole it hides
chase danger o'er curling cliffs of thunderclouds in the sky
kiss babes in straw mangers before they fully awaken
   into the stranger lives
   those of us mortals have left behind
climb mountains to find the kind of death-defying
   peace of mind
   resigned to those whose bags are packed for the first sign of
   a fire burning as a beacon and a guide

let any demon of weakened souls be left behind
I stand unbeaten among those who seek freedom to deepen
   that courage
   it took to leave the Garden of Eden
you won't catch me sleeping crying or dreaming of leaping
   as if my ten toes are only teasing
   as if the slow concrete is already seeping into my bloodstream
   the moment like a sparrow fleeting
   pleading with my heart to cease its heavy heaving
   causing me to spend my days retreating

because I will have already leapt

I refuse to stick around a dying town to take bets
stand wagering whether or not I'll seize the day
find success
or digress
and live the rest of my life with regrets

no
like the peregrine I take flight
not gonna waste time considering if doing so
   is wrong
   or right
but just to feel the bite of cold wind in those heights
to feel alive
not merely as if I've just survived

leave that dignity-stealing feeling for those jokers
   who live simple
   and simply die
I'd rather exist for all that's in between those two brief junctures
   in a person's life
I abide with a different fire burning on the inside
I see the path with a different pair of green eyes
shame on me if you catch me standing by
   waxing my wings
   like a wet fly
the goddess has provided my immortal construction with an enigmatic design
the spark lit when I fell from my mother's thighs
   bellowing into existence a loud war cry

lo, if I do not try
try to reach the stars or
   fail to absorb their ancient light
   I will have committed a crime
or worse
a sin

and although I be a sinner
I am not that kind
the trade winds blow
   and off I
   MUST
   go
from open door to open door
I refuse fervently to be confined.

TA

The Healer

I put flies in your ears as Helios buries his
words
like golden eggs
in the camel-tossed sand,
you asked who,

I am he,
I am your man,

never resting lest I'm sure where you stand,
camel-colored women wave their prayer flags
in the air
for the victors of Akrophos have returned
fresh from killing fields littered
with dead
dealt death
by their hands,
unbutton your blouse slowly.
not half way but wholly,
where your tits fall unfettered like birds let them stand,
I am the healer who must rest hands on the damned,
you asked who,

I am he,
I am your man.

TA

She Is Seldom

She is seldom relaxed
reserves no pleasantry
scatters her ashes virulently

She is curved like an elephant's tusk
always bent to the task
dialogues long in a shipman's sea speech
divides her love like a kind conquering queen equivalently

She comes when my tongue is wet
cigarettes on her warm breath
breathing heavy wrapped in white sheets
white dreams and a sleep like death

TA

An Empty Seat

I look over
on every day
every.single.day
every single gotdamn day
without missing a single one
every day...
sometimes in the morning
   when the sun is yawning wide in great golden arcs
sometimes in the evening
   when the sun goes heavy to sleep in violet folds
every
single
day
without exaggeration - every single day
from that very last time I saw you
to THIS very day
at some point in every one of those days
(in every single one of them)
I look over
I look over
   I imagine you're there
next to me

and I don't know if that will ever stop.

TA

Late Night Crowd And Them

Accordion sets the pace comme ça
hot hot current leaping leopard through a late night crowd
shoulder to elbow
to hip
to hip
dancers like beautiful Pavlovian mutts in ostrich hide high heel ropers
   start to vibrate
sweat wet lovers pull close pulse into each other's embrace
the notes swell
become alive
becomes a beacon
calling to the hunt
to laugh to circle to drink
to breathe the same breath
to be immortal subsisting for a spell in someone else's life

reach my hand into the sea comme ça
pull a pretty girl smiling in a yellow pattern sun dress
   from the waves
old wooden floor buckling like a trampoline
bouncing like a wooden floor should not
two-step mosh pit comme ça
she smells like jasmine and shampoo and cigarettes
back of her ribcage in my hand
fingers folded into her spine
push her two beats forward
pull her two beats backward

fiddle cries the war rally of my ol' cajun grandfathers comme ça
she is asked to promenade below her own twisted elbow
a damp brown curl clings to her temple
Fibonacci smiles while we twirl
she is teeth and lips
she is yellow fringe and glittering clavicles
she is clumsy
she is lovely
she is all

electric bass swallows the last notes like warm whiskey when the lights come on
she offers her flushed cheek
   and I am forever grateful
grace her soft opal skin with my bearded kiss
where roses blossom
thank you for the dance
it was my absolute pleasure
given to a stranger with a smile comme ça
from a stranger

reach my hand into the sea again
comme ça
pull another pretty girl in another sun dress from the waves
accordion sets the pace comme ça

TA

At The Edge Of Grey

She steps up to me
a knight aglow in full regalia
armed to her jagged teeth in naked skin
fly the colors
blush
rose
scarlet
pink
wet
call for war
desperate hungry trumpets cry like wounded lions
rend the curtain
part the crowded masses on hands on knees I push my way within
to touch with withered long fingers broken and scaled
the edge of her golden hem

from the temple she can hear shouting
from the dirt she can hear moaning
so led by her long pale legs and sharp bones she steps within
brass knuckles
haymakers
blood
blood??
you thought blood would frighten her?
she IS blood
red and sinew and warm and as strong as iron
too late for the tax collectors
too late for the sinners
with slick lips and wet eyes she swallows them all
tongues them
bites softly with her jagged teeth
32 red brands bring blood bruises to my slithering lizard skin
snakes dance on her head
two-step and a zydeco half-step

I repent
cast aside my pearls
wrapped in my grandmother's rosary like a beaded cock ring
recite a Hail Mary
blessed blue queen of blue balls
and the One holy invisible semen swimmer
deliver the news, Gabriella
prep the long-eared ass
let's chill in a hidden heaven high up in the east
light a fat roll of the grass which is greener on the other side
and get blazed, my right hand dawgs

I digress
I repent
kneel on rice
recite Charles Bukowski
"...when He created you lying in bed
He knew what he was doing..."
he did indeed
they did indeed
they know what it's like to obsess over the shape of a woman asleep
in your shitty twin bed sheets
they know what it's like to fuck in the desert
to argue like broken birds
cum and say I'm sorry it's over now it's forgiven now
I don't even remember what we were arguing about
a trillion stars reflected in the opalescent jizz on your stomach
and some of them galaxies even
some with star systems spinning like melted whipped cream in a mocha grande
some with suns just hot enough
just far enough away
to make planets where fish become people
so some fall in love
and some screw everything up
some know happy times
and some are forever lonely
all of them most certainly know pain

and in their own empty desert
in the back of one of their own dusty pick-up trucks
two of them lie next to one another
naked and quiet
sharing an existence
sharing love (or something)
watching their own view of the trillion stars above
up there where
somewhere
you and I are

but in all the worlds
and in all the worlds to come
we fuck
we rage
we hurt one another spectacularly
we all of us recite Bukowski
"...the impossibility of being human
all too human
this breathing
in and out
out and in
these punks
these cowards
these champions
these mad dogs of glory

moving this little bit of light toward
us
impossibly".

TA

Thirty Minute Lunch Break

Lost in the middle of a green sugarcane ocean
sharp stalks ripple like waves
shadows in the long rows
where the momma fox sleeps
where the mice build cathedrals damned

overhead span of suspended electrical cables
conduit superhighways dripping from one lonely wooden H-frame to a distant other
sizzling hot crisp power
the life of my ceiling fan spinning
laptop spark
cell phone buzz
my bank account once a week every Wednesday

under the white plastic turtle shell of my hard hat
line of sweat swallowed by the brambles of my beard
a grin forms
heavy hammer still sheathed in the snare of my tool belt
thrown overboard to the overgrown weeds and tractor trails
fluorescent vest given to the warm summer breeze

on the back of my tailgate
she waits for me
slips out of her blue jeans.

TA

By Madness

In that moment overcome with madness
in the middle of her private dancing
her twirling in moonskin in red curls until her long icy fingers reached into
star-filled
outer-space
puffy astronauts landing six-wheeled rovers on her
ribcage
galaxies spinning double and triple helix loops around her wrists
creating life
the beginnings of lengthy love stories
   and their endings

In that moment she a cyclone became heavier than the room
bright blue light erupted from behind her tarred lashes
then her chest heaved and
a sigh ran like soft ribbon between her ruddy lips
she still spinning
by madness
or
by design
I the lower sex couldn't dare to say
her ankles minarets sparkling
her thunderstorm clouds raging in pale purples in blue bruises
she my savior opened
her bone hard knees
shining
and the sky collapsed.

TA

A Child's Confession

I am my mother's sixth century glass eye,
feeding me the pink spout of her luxurious swollen breast
pressing that mammalian flesh against my lips
as if without that golden milk
I would surely die,
moving her wide hips against someone not my father
late into the hot night,
in my crib dressed in my own warm brown shit mix
in my feather haired head
and in my little red penuckle heart
I knew something wasn't right,
blood farts in a yellow diaper too tight,
the song of this woman's sex blasting through the vents
like mustard gas might,
the sight of some stranger's hand prints along her lower thighs
made my head swim and my swollen lips cry for that thick curdled milk
she hoarded inside,
hidden in those pale balloons festooned with blue veins
and the calcifying remains of a strange man's stains
was an endless supply of the essence of life,
after you've seen that mound-munching man to the door
let me gum that brown nipple
and be baptized,
arise ye twin mountains of suicide and
oblige this child tonight.

TA

Not Our Vows, But About Our Vows

We were built like the wind,
hands for feet and feet for fins,
chasing Love to the height of heaven
and to the depth of sin,
we were cobras thick and reflective black skin
known to crawl there and back
and to spit the poison gin,
dare to dish the worse you can give
'cause we can take it on the chin,
we'd swim through orange ropes of fire
to save a hapless lass from the lost hope of her disaster
while ten men together could not find the courage
to extend a single finger within,
we did not pretend to defend the lowliest hearts
and next of kin
but always sought immediate and swift revenge,

we slept in wolves' dens,
broke our lives on the rock
and the rock upon our shins,
we bathed in donkey glue from tip to tail,
lipped up milk from the swollen breasts of lactating females,
signed our signatures in blood with quill pens
and repeated our vows every now and then,

the old fog whistle spills down from the hills,
covers the valley in its lonely sound,
I haven't seen you in years,
but you're suddenly back again.

TA

A Day At Continuing Education

Old man white haired southern son of a bitch
   with your tongue tie too long
   lapping at the cusp of those khaki dockers
   those pleated church-going diapers,
Old man Butterfield full of newspaper headlines and religions
   drinking daily coffee conversations with priests
   demanding to be head of your household,
Would you hold me in those tiny manicured hands
   let me kiss that tailgate tanned forehead
   calling you Grumpy Grampa Rose?
Full of so much GOTdamn jargon
   so much fine whiskey
   so much tiger pride
   so much masked racism
   pushed so deep into the sponge of your spirit
   that it leaks out at the corners and joints of your lengthy diatribes,
Loyal southern socialite with friends in high places
   stabled by table boys
   culled by creole dancing girls
   drink the fine wine and wipe those lady's lips on the white napkin, you gorgeous cuck,
Little pink pecker poking its weathered soldier's helmet
   from the heart of a silver hedge
   hiding from the young pretty untouchables masquerading in perfect bodies
   through the terrarium of a coffee shop,
Pumpkin spice on your breath
   tufts of soft cumulous clouds over the tips of your Lilliputian ears
   the skull beneath that tight thin skin
   not much larger than Jungle Jane's prized primate students,

Love me anyway in my crabby contemplation,
   in my plaid and denim
   regarding you distantly
   judging you insufficiently
   loathing our forced time together
   like a caged circus lion bemoans the man with the whip,

My daddy-for-a-day,

Enfold me under the shelter of your dinner jacket,
   promise me all future success
   breastfeed me nomenclature accompanied by butterfly hand gestures,
Whisper into my cupped ears the endless industry psalms
   I'll quickly forget
   when the sounds of your golden throat fall silent,
In this artificially lit hotel conference room
   crowned in the gloom of fluorescent gas tubes
   you are king of the Polo Boys,
 But in the sun-drenched glare of the parking lot,
   where packed cars idle like iron pachyderms in a frozen parade
   you shrivel
   and turn into a faded faceless dwarf,

just another man,
   just a man.

TA

The Decision

What war eagle will YOU fly into that midnight,
away away from the Earth's soft blue light,
screaming your human pride
   at the end of a burning spear into the sky,
we defy you, ye gods, to throw us down again,
where the weak bones of your gravity we break with our sin,
chins tucked to chests lest the launch break our necks
   as we rise like a sun in the west,

best damn day of my life,
this day,
on the stoop in front of my kids and crying wife,

if I stay,
we all die
(eventually)
if I go to die
   they live long beautiful lives,

without me.

TA

Oh She Begets

She was the spill of silver moonlight
spilling over snake curls coiling twisting
hissing flickers forked tongue wet
whispering wanting to be bitten
strawberry currents twirling in a post storm deluge
golden flood stage river water crimson shimmer
   flowing over her shoulders
blue hurricane bruise on her neck nearing landfall
cresting along the short rise of her bone white breasts
whereupon russet roses rest
a perch for thirsty lips
tasting of summer wine and warm breath

aplomb in smokey eyeliner smeared in streaks of black sweat
she presses me
like a hungry wolf cub
like the black weight of Death

hold still, and with trembling fingers will I draw your shape in charcoal dust
oh swell of her dancing form!
holy woman born
following her sharp shadow on the bedroom sheetrock
my eyes tracing over her outline where she ends
   and the rest of the world begins
entranced by such flawless human goddess design
aglow in the angry orange streetlight lines thrown from the blinds
thrown to the lions
thrown through the window of existence into the harsh streets of this life
in her pink folds
in her diamond fire

let the winds drive
oh God let the winds drive her higher
in such bold strokes I slash savage and mad
I cut her in half
I taste the strong sting of her wild spirit
at last

and I eat her alive.

TA

The Other Half

"Take me with you," I bemoaned
to the Lady in the orange jumpsuit,
with the eagle crest on her shoulder,
with a flight helmet tucked under her arm,
with the Cross of Nine Stars on her chest,
"I'll be a substitute for the Captain,
or I'll grab my Rosary and be the Chaplain,
or I'll grab some napkins and be a Server serving
flavored lemon water in paper cups
to space-bound sailors on their way up,
I'll labor where ever you need a favor,
I'll smile and I'll strut,
I'll sing all the old hymnals foretold
to bring all the good luck,
I'll watch for asteroids and transmit the signal
if even one as small as a thimble
crosses our simple but straight path
during my vigil,
I'll massage the temples of everyone every night
in a warm bubble bath
and serve you all cold milk
from a tall frozen glass,
I've done the math - the ship can handle
my relatively minimal mass,
I'll breathe lightly
so as not to use up much O2 gas,
I'll hop to every command,
I'll even dash,
I can't offer you much
but what's mine you can have,
I'll even give everyone a sloppy blow..."

She stopped me, looking a little sad,
"I'm sorry," she said,
"but we'll have to pass,
it's not about cash,
or stowing extra trash,
I truly believe you when you say
you'll do and dash
committing everything to the crew
and to the task,
don't feel bad," she said,
you're a Dad,
a Father to three amazing little lads,
your place isn't on the launchpad,
or between stars in the infinite Gap,
if you long to save the world
save it through those three children you have,
we'll see to the Heavens,
you see to the other half."

TA

Her Wet Lips Near My Ear Tell Such Soft Stories

I crept with her through holes
in floors and in walls
in her under and her overalls
in parts of her near and fore
and before her fall
we searched like alleycats in heat
for shadows
shouldered by the cold darkness of our souls
for that sweet meat
we are fangs
and fur
we creep
we acknowledge with spilled milk on our hands
that we are what we eat

she visits me under a throbbing helo moon
in my unholy hour
holds me together with such fragile string

but

with such power
devours pearls of sweat with a swollen tongue
from the black hairs on my bone and collar
to the nip of my neck

let's me sleep
in what amounts to a secret peace
but whispers with breath like the cold breeze on a flower...

soon, my love
too soon comes that haunted hour.

TA

Waiting

Waiting by the car
in your overalls
and underdrawers
pink pussy wiggling in cotton candy stripes o'er my hemline
the car's engine twitching with fine tuned tension
we're both waiting
idling at the starting line
for the fire
circumnavigating your dimensions
sailing turbulent seas frothy with desire

sailors

drivers

lovers

a pair of rabbit in the briar.

TA


Photo cred: Paul Hart

Tusks and Tails

There they were
running to crown the new king
stumbling over themselves in order to be the first
   to usher in a new beginning
ringing their hands mad with dance proclaiming disdain
   to the very last drop of red blood running through their
   blue veins
lines like human trains
lies thicker than ink stains
staring into dull mirrors with dim vision puking into sink drains

let us remember what it is these fools claim
this foundation is at best unsteady
ready to topple under the weight of too much shame
our hands cuffed to rusted bars
forgetting the key was always ours
forgetting we are the ones to blame

how well we listen depends on the celebrity credibility of their fame
name one thing we have in common with these bastards of representation
   and I'll gladly allow hope to coax me from the edge of a misguided nation
with car wreck satisfaction we're transfixed by the action
   but forget quickly WE
   are the deer in the headlights
   about to lose OUR
   life
madmen who sleep easily at night
despite their sins
driving us recklessly around sharp bends
defending such piloting with blatant lies
   and devil's grins

still
we vote them in
time and time again
like lambs
like serfs
like a country of weeping children

I remind you with a fading voice
over senseless clatter and ignorant din
forget not who holds the power...

for even kings
are only men.

TA